HOW TO GET PREGNANT:
BABY MAKING SEX
Introduction
Here we get to the nitty-gritty: How do you really make a baby?
You have sex, of course. Yes, you need to try and predict your ovulation
through charting your cycle, but if you and your partner don't get
busy, then your goal cannot be realized.
Obviously, it only takes one time to create a baby.
In order to maximize your odds of conceiving, though, it is best
to have intercourse at least a couple of times during your fertile
time. After having read this book, you are aware of the infertile
times of your cycle.
It is a good idea, however, to be sexually active
throughout your cycle. Why?
1) Frequency of ejaculation can help improve the
motility of sperm. It is not recommended that your partner refrain
from ejaculation for more than a week.
2) Trying to conceive can be stressful for both partners. If you
are only intimate in order to make a baby, then you are putting
undue pressure on those few times that you engage in intercourse.
Your partner may have a hard time a) getting or keeping an erection,
or b) ejaculating. To avoid these situations, have sex throughout
your cycle. Moreover, if you are having trouble predicting ovulation,
this strategy will maximize your chance for success.
How To
Yes, I realize that you know how to have sex. Try
and think of this as baby making sex, however. It should be a bit
different from your normal activities. Of course, just by having
sex, you can get pregnant, but if you follow some of these tricks
of the trade, then you will enhance your chances.
Many believe that baby making should be fun and
spontaneous. Yes, you can have fun, but spontaneity should be reserved
for your infertile times. Baby making requires planning to increase
your chances of conceiving. After all, if you wanted to be spontaneous,
you wouldn't be reading this book.
Sperm Count
Sperm count is a key factor in conception. Total
count, concentration, motility, abnormalities, etc. are all components
of semen analysis (S/A). If your partner has been tested, then you
are a step ahead of most couples. If your partner has not been tested,
then it is best to assume a normal sperm count in the beginning
of your trying to conceive journey.
Normal Sperm Count
It is necessary for your partner to build up his
sperm count before starting the baby making process. A three day
period of abstinence goes a long way in ensuring that there will
be a sufficient concentration and number of sperm to get the job
done. Remember that abstinence excludes all forms of ejaculation:
oral sex, masturbation, intercourse, etc.
After your partner "suffers" through this
three day period, have intercourse on a daily basis. Make sure that
you are timing sex at least 24 hours apart, though. Your partner
needs this time to "refuel". This means that you do need
to schedule your times of intimacy. Pick a time of day that you
are both free and unencumbered.
Mona and her husband, Mike, decide that 10pm is
the best time to engage in baby making sex. At this time, they are
usually settling in to watch the news. They are relaxed and have
finished all of the day's chores and activities. Moreover, they
have a sufficient amount of time and do not need to rush.
Mike and Mona's Timetable:
1) They have intercourse on Monday night.
2) Mike then abstains until 10pm on Thursday night.
3) The couple then engages in baby making sex every night at 10pm
from Thursday through Sunday.
4) Mona's chart shows probable ovulation occurring on Saturday.
Low Sperm Count
For a low sperm count, you should be engaging in
baby making sex every other day (48 hours apart) because your partner
needs more time to "refuel" then a man with a normal sperm
count needs. Abstaining from ejaculation for at least three days
before you start your baby making schedule is still crucial.
Jeff has a low sperm count. He and his partner,
Cara, decide that since they usually go to sleep at 11:30pm, they
will start their baby making encounters at 10:30pm.
Jeff and Cara's Timetable:
1) On Monday, Jeff masturbates. He then abstains until Thursday
night (observing the three day rule).
2) The couple has intercourse Thursday, Saturday, Monday, and Wednesday
nights at about 10:30pm.
3) Cara's chart shows probable ovulation occurring on Tuesday.
It's not Working!!
I had recommended that in the absence of any medical
testing, you should assume that your partner has a normal sperm
count. After a few non-successful cycles, however, a change can
be made. You may decide to go with the low sperm count schedule
of intercourse which is every 48 hours. You might, however, want
to try a more moderate schedule of every 36 hours. The latter might
be a little more tricky, schedule wise. As a couple, you will need
to find two times during the day that are free and unencumbered.
Obviously, this is a much easier scenario for a childless couple.
Lucy and Rob have been trying to conceive for four
cycles. Rob has not had an S/A done, but they have assumed his count
was normal, thus having intercourse daily. The couple decides that
they would like to try the 36-hour method. Lucy needs to get up
for work at 7am while Rob doesn't need to arise until 8am. The couple
decides to set the alarm for 6:15am and engage in baby making sex.
They know that they will also have to have sex at around 7pm, about
36 hours later. This is also a good time for them because it is
after dinner.
Lucy and Rob's Timetable:
1) They engage in intercourse on Saturday morning.
2) Rob abstains until Tuesday morning (observing three day rule).
3) The couple then has sex at these times: 6:15am Tuesday, 7pm Wednesday,
6:15am Friday, and 7pm Saturday.
4) Lucy's chart shows probable ovulation occurring on Friday.
NOTE: If you are having intercourse daily, then
it is very important to leave 24 hours in between "sessions",
allowing time for your partner to rebuild his sperm count. If you
are following a 36-hour or 48-hour schedule then being off by a
couple of hours will not be as much of a problem.
Pattern
Practice makes perfect. It is much easier to plan
your intercourse timing and frequency when you have charted at least
two cycles (three or more is better) because then you will have
an idea of your personal pattern. You will want to know at what
point in your cycle you usually ovulate. This does not mean that
you have to state: "I ovulate on cycle day X". Although
this is ideal, it is not realistic that you will ovulate on the
exact same cycle day each month. It is more probably that you will
be able to state a range: "I will probably ovulate sometime
between cycle day X and Z.
It is ideal to engage in at least two baby making
encounters before your ovulation date, to try and ensure fertilization.
O Day is the Best Day???
Many women think that if they have intercourse on
ovulation day, then they will have done their best. This is a misconception
for three reasons:
1) Many women notice that their peak day (last day of fertile quality
cervical fluid (CF)) actually occurs one day before ovulation. Since
fertile quality CF is the best medium of transportation for the
sperm, it would stand to reason that your peak day is the best day
to engage in baby making sex.
2) Many women begin to dry up on ovulation day. Sticky CF or no
CF will be a major hindrance to the sperm's motility.
3) It is best for the sperm to be in the fallopian tubes before
the egg is released. It may take hours for the sperm to travel to
the fallopian tubes. Unless you know the exact hour that you are
going to ovulate, having intercourse on ovulation day can be a hit
or miss prospect.
So if the peak day is the best day, then what? Obviously,
if you are having sex daily, then hitting the peak day is no problem.
If you are having sex every other day, it can be tricky. Try your
best to include the peak day, but don't fret if it's not possible.
Remember that sperm can live for five to six days in fertile quality
fluid. If you have two days of eggwhite CF, and you have sex on
one of them, then you are golden. Even if you miss your eggwhite
day, but hit your creamy CF day, then you will still have a great
shot.
Positions
Many women want to know what the best position is
for baby making sex. There are two that I favor, missionary and
rear entry. The one position that you definitely want to avoid is
woman-on-top. The problem with this position is simply gravity.
When your partner ejaculates while you are on top, there is an increased
chance that the sperm will leak out. Missionary is usually the favored
position, but rear entry has a distinct advantage of depositing
the sperm closer to your cervix.
NOTE: Rear entry can be more of a disadvantage if
your partner ejaculates too deeply, creating a pool of sperm behind
your cervix. To minimize this risk, your partner should pullback
slightly just before ejaculating.
To Recline is Divine
After intercourse, it is preferable that you lie
down on your back for at least 15 minutes with your hips elevated.
This practice will allow the sperm time to begin their journey to
the fallopian tubes without having to fight gravity. To elevate
your hips, put a pillow underneath your bottom. Have your partner
turn on the TV for you or better yet use the time to talk about
your day with your significant other. 15-30 minutes is all you need
to allow the sperm to get a head start.
Have a Tilted Uterus?
20% of women have a tilted uterus. This means that
the uterus tips either forwards or backwards (anteflexed or retroflexed).
Having a tilted uterus does not decrease your chances of conceiving.
It is actually considered to be akin to being left-handed. You can
improve your chances by engaging in rear entry intercourse, however.
Also, it is recommended that instead of lying on your back for 15-30
minutes after intercourse, you lie on your stomach instead. Put
a pillow underneath the upper part of your thigh for elevation.
Things to Avoid
1) Saliva: it can kill sperm. It is best not to
engage in oral sex before you have intercourse.
2) Some commercial lubricants: many of them will decrease your chances
of conceiving. If you must use lubrication, real eggwhites are ideal.
Also, a new product, Pre~Seed Intimate Moisturizer, has been receiving
rave reviews from women, so it may be worth a try.
3) Woman-on-top position: it should be avoided at time of ejaculation.
4) Getting up immediately after intercourse: if possible, give the
sperm some time to travel by lying down afterwards.
Happy Baby Making!
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